The Soulmate Calculator is one of the hot schemes in the hit-n-run world of online advertising. The ads, which promise to help connect with your soulmate, are the wireless equivalent of the 1-900 number: novelty entertainment with an undisclosed bill that arrives a few weeks later. The ads are being uploaded into the social networking spaces of the internet with amazing efficiency. The affiliates of the site (I suspect grey-area PPC kingpin Shoemoney) are uploading hundreds of thousands of pay-per-click keywords to get the coverage they are now attaining.

The scheme converts well because of the one-click signup and billing that goes straight to your cellphone statement (rather than requiring the you to consciously enter a card number, e-mail, or Paypal address). A lot of folks pay their cellphone by automatic bank transfer these days, and they don’t check their statements carefully. It would be easy to milk some people for quite a while before they realize the $39.98 monthly surcharges tacked on.

Well, people should read the fine print before signing up for anything, right? Good advice, but with the Soulmate Calculator you can’t - unless you have a 900 x 1400 or higher resolution monitor. The landing screen is carefully designed so you can’t see what you’re signing up for (or the multiple charges involved) on a standard-sized screen. You’d have to scroll way down to find out – and there is no reason to, because the “next” button is up high.

I say that because of the non-sequiter selling proposition and the heavily camouflaged terms and conditions, the the Soulmate Calculator is a calculating scam. What do you think?

It was a lovely holiday. I visited family and got to surf in Florida. It was all chill and peaceful - until the flight home on US Airways. The requisite screaming baby and oxygen mask tutorial were followed by several minutes of video commercials in crackling full volume. “Okay, so they need a few extra bucks,” I said to myself. I forgave them and turned up my MP3 player to block it out. Precious seconds elapsed before I got a rap-tap-tap on my shoulder. A pretty, but passive-aggressive lady me to turn off my non-approved portable electronic device until the no smoking light went off (or something like that.)

Finally we took off and I started to get settled in. The stewardess came by and offered me a drink. I plopped down my tray, and was startled by loud yellow space ad for Splenda, a product that US Airways does not offer, on a polyethylene sticker that covered the entire tray. “Stuck in the middle seat, Jane planned a sweet escape” the headline screamed out at me.

I wanted to reach for one of the barf bags, but US Airways wants to put ads on them too!

Something about having to stare at the Splenda ad while nursing my apple juice - and then for another hour while waiting for the attendant to come pick up my cups - left a funny taste in my mouth. I really should have ordered one of those $5 beers.

The piece de resistance was a loud announcement about 4 hours into the flight that woke me. It was a pitch for a special credit card (with a high annual fee) that earned frequent flyer miles on US Airways. After two minutes of dutifully hawking it into the bullhorn, a smiling male flight attendant strolled down the isle with a fistful of brochures. I only saw only one or two takers.

Yeah, just like newspapers, the airline industries are struggling. Yes, other public transportation methods like busses, taxis and subways do feature adverting. But none of them force it in such an invasive way. You can look away from an overhead banner on a bus, or choose not take a taxi with tacky casino ads all over it.

Credit card pitches and commercials played at full-volume, while the audience is strapped into a tiny seat with no option to walk out, are spam. Plain and simple. The brightly colored dining tray ads are literally “in your face.” It’s crudely targeted, old-fashioned advertising with no way to opt-out. I think the backlash will cost them more than a few sign ups or ad checks.

Next time I fly, I’ll try to book an airline other than US Airways in hopes of a more peaceful, dignified experience.

Simon Slade thinks I’m overreacting. What about you? Do you have any experiences or opinions on inflight advertising? Please post your thoughts…